At New York's Kennedy airport today,
an individual later discovered to be a public
school teacher, was arrested trying to board
a flight while in possession of a ruler, a
protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a
calculator. At a morning press conference,
Attorney General Gonzales said he believes
the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra
movement. He is being charged by the FBI with
carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra
is a fearsome cult," Gonzales said. "They desire
average solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
absolute value. They use secret code names like
'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,'
but we have determined they belong to a common
denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles
used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle.'"
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said,
"If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math
instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

Blue Socks

Soooooo Tired